Here are a few things (more than a few) that I don't like to say out loud so I decided to put them here:
1.) Having a boy I have found myself falling into that mommy category that I don't want to be in. I'm not sure if it's because his dad and my dad are coaches or what but I WANT and EXPECT him to at least be average in sports. I want him to be competitive, athletic, coordinated, and a jock. Yes, he is 3....I know this. I want him to be well-rounded and multi-talented...not just with sports. BUT....I do want sports to be one of his traits. That was tough to even type. I feel so guilty.
2.) I think (obsess) about my weight every hour of the day. Literally!!! I daydream about being back in a single digit size and having skinny arms. Actually not being disgusted of pictures of me. Not constantly critiquing my body and being excited about shopping for MYSELF not just my kids.
3.) I am sooooo not good with confrontation and that really disappoints me. I have always wanted to be one of those girls who could speak her mind to anyone anytime. Not me....uh huh. I could count on one hand when I have mustered up the courage to say something. It really has to be something that bothers me...i.e. husband, kids, family. I would so get kicked off The Real World.
4.) I think I am way too hard on Cooper sometimes. I have that fear that our kids will have that "bebe kid" reputation. You know, the "Oh God! He comes Cooper! He is terrible!!" I really try to stop, breathe, and relax but sometimes I fail! I whip my kids. I don't beat them...but I whip them. My parents whipped me and it worked. I do find myself feeling regretful at night sometimes for yelling too much or losing my cool. Parenting......Gah it's hard!!!!!
5.) I worry....a lot. Thank you mother. I know that is part of being a mother but I worry myself silly sometimes. Thankfully, I have a husband who isn't afraid to tell me to get ahold of myself a chill out!!!
6.) I sometimes think I could have done more. Now, don't get me wrong. Teaching is a tough job! There are many many things I love about my job. I just think sometimes that I could have went in a different direction I guess. I'm not really sure what direction it may have been really. I do REALLY regret one thing. Not going off to college. Justin and I both regret not going to Ole Miss or anywhere but Southern. USM was OK but neither of us got what we think was the REAL college experience.
7.) I think one of the coolest jobs on the world would be an entertainer/actor. GLAMOROUS!! I know that is RANDOM but I have ALWAYS wanted to be one or the other. I can neither act nor carry a tune in a bucket but one can dream right. When I was young, I would get home from school, put on our Grease record or Paula Abdul tape and sing in a broom. I was a freaking rock star or at least I thought so! I was home by myself.....I didn't do this in front of anyone OK. Just me, myself, and I.
8.) I am terrified of getting sick. To more specific.....skin cancer. I have touched on this before but this is a touchy subject for me. My last visit to the dermatologist kind of scared me in a way like never before. I was sitting there listening to Dr. Roy talk to me about all of these different treatments we could do. As he was talking to me I started to feel very emotional and I have no idea why. Justin was with me so I acted like everything was fine but for some reason this fear just kind of washed over me. I constantly worry that one day I'm going to find a spot that's going to be the serious one. I've already had so many places burned, scraped, cut, and frozen that doctors are even surprised. I then think how selfish and petty of me. It's just a little skin cancer that is honestly pretty common. I know people that are going through a hell of lot worse than I could even imagine. STOP WORRYING JANA!!!!!! I can't help it though. I am constantly looking at places that look suspicious thinking there is another one. Then I get really vain and look at all my ugly scares and sores and think they are only going to multiply. Am I going to end up one big skin cancer???? I'm going to do everything I can try not to and it's weird how I can relate that back to one of my favorite elementary school teachers. Funny how life turns out sometimes. That one was hard too.
9.) I sweat like a dude. Actually, I sweat like a 500 lb dude and it is NOT OK!!! I could never have bangs when I was little because I would sweat so much. NOT COOL!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Random little things.....
Yeah, I've been a bad blogger. I'm sorry!! I have no excuse.....just life. Summer break is finally here so hopefully I will do a better job with my blogging skills. Good thing I don't get paid for this. Anyway, here are just some random thought/happengings I wanted to share.
Cooper started t-ball much to the discouragment of pretty much every single person we asked. DON'T DO IT was pretty much the answer we go each time......geez. Well, the first practice went well. We had to run out at the last minute and buy a glove after Cooper's $5 Hudson find went missing....GREAT! The only place we had time to go was Hibbit and I knew we were about to pay WAY more than we should for a 3 yr old t-ball glove. We did. First game didn't go so well. Cooper wouldn't even walk to the tee. I could see the frustration on Justin's face but he was he kept his cool. The rest of that game was pretty spent with Cooper playing in the dirt and Justin chatting with the other dads. The second game went much better. The ice cream Cooper had before may or may not had anything to do with that but so be it. He hit the ball both times and actually attempted to field a couple of balls. Now, tonights game I had to play daddy. Justin had football workouts ( ugh >:/ ugh ) and I got to go out on the field with Cooper. He is all about hitting the ball but when it comes to fielding...not so much. All that dirt is much more appealing. I found myself trying to encourage him at first. Then it turned to threats.....then bribes. Just run after the ball son!!! I had to snap myself out of it and remember that he is only 3.....and he does LOVE dirt. We will see how the rest of the season goes. I am glad we played though. He sure looks cute in his hat. ;)
I follow a lot of blogs and I LOVE to read them all. A dear friend of ours is going through a rough time right now. His mom is battling small cell lung cancer. His sister started a blog to basically follow her journey in dealing with thier mother's illness. It is AMAZING!!! Although I absolutley hate that she had to even start this blog I find myself scrolling down to see if she has updated it every day. Check it out. Her mother, Brenda Cochran, is probably one of the strongest women you will ever meet.
http://nikcia13.blogspot.com/
Our dear friends Johnny Welch and Sarah Robinson are getting married this weekend and Cooper will be the ring bearer. We have been prepping Cooper for this for months now but I am still so anxious to see if he will actually walk down that isle. Cooper is such a moody child sometimes and can be very shy and timid. Once again, I have resorted to bribery. Don't judge me ok. We paid good money for this tux and I want Johnny and Sarah's day to be perfect.
I'm going to start admitting something embarassing on here from time to time. We have struggled with both of our kids sleeping in their own beds. They will start out in their beds but usually ALWAYS end up in our queen size bed. Well, our master bedroom is big. Big enough to put another queen size bed on either side of our bed. So guess what? That queen size bed that is collecting crap in our 4th bedroom is about to be setup next to our bed. Yes, it will be oh so tacky and I'm sure my mother is gasping this very second after reading this but we gotta SLEEP!!!! It's not permanent but it will work for now.....hopefully.
Oh, one more thing. Please pray for Justin Friday. He is taking his National Board test in Jackson!!
Cooper started t-ball much to the discouragment of pretty much every single person we asked. DON'T DO IT was pretty much the answer we go each time......geez. Well, the first practice went well. We had to run out at the last minute and buy a glove after Cooper's $5 Hudson find went missing....GREAT! The only place we had time to go was Hibbit and I knew we were about to pay WAY more than we should for a 3 yr old t-ball glove. We did. First game didn't go so well. Cooper wouldn't even walk to the tee. I could see the frustration on Justin's face but he was he kept his cool. The rest of that game was pretty spent with Cooper playing in the dirt and Justin chatting with the other dads. The second game went much better. The ice cream Cooper had before may or may not had anything to do with that but so be it. He hit the ball both times and actually attempted to field a couple of balls. Now, tonights game I had to play daddy. Justin had football workouts ( ugh >:/ ugh ) and I got to go out on the field with Cooper. He is all about hitting the ball but when it comes to fielding...not so much. All that dirt is much more appealing. I found myself trying to encourage him at first. Then it turned to threats.....then bribes. Just run after the ball son!!! I had to snap myself out of it and remember that he is only 3.....and he does LOVE dirt. We will see how the rest of the season goes. I am glad we played though. He sure looks cute in his hat. ;)
Look, It's Kelly from Bad News Bears.
I follow a lot of blogs and I LOVE to read them all. A dear friend of ours is going through a rough time right now. His mom is battling small cell lung cancer. His sister started a blog to basically follow her journey in dealing with thier mother's illness. It is AMAZING!!! Although I absolutley hate that she had to even start this blog I find myself scrolling down to see if she has updated it every day. Check it out. Her mother, Brenda Cochran, is probably one of the strongest women you will ever meet.
http://nikcia13.blogspot.com/
Our dear friends Johnny Welch and Sarah Robinson are getting married this weekend and Cooper will be the ring bearer. We have been prepping Cooper for this for months now but I am still so anxious to see if he will actually walk down that isle. Cooper is such a moody child sometimes and can be very shy and timid. Once again, I have resorted to bribery. Don't judge me ok. We paid good money for this tux and I want Johnny and Sarah's day to be perfect.
I'm going to start admitting something embarassing on here from time to time. We have struggled with both of our kids sleeping in their own beds. They will start out in their beds but usually ALWAYS end up in our queen size bed. Well, our master bedroom is big. Big enough to put another queen size bed on either side of our bed. So guess what? That queen size bed that is collecting crap in our 4th bedroom is about to be setup next to our bed. Yes, it will be oh so tacky and I'm sure my mother is gasping this very second after reading this but we gotta SLEEP!!!! It's not permanent but it will work for now.....hopefully.
Oh, one more thing. Please pray for Justin Friday. He is taking his National Board test in Jackson!!
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